Who am I?

Do you ever feel like you live life as an actor, going through the day as if on stage an needing to perform for those around you? Why is that? What is it about other people that makes us feel like we have to live up to some unknown standard which really doesn't even exist? We say we don't care what anybody says or thinks about us but inside we know that's a lie. We live in a culture that tells us in a million different ways that we have to look a certain way or act like this guy if we want to fit in, but we know that's not really us. So what do we do? Put on a great show, of course, because we all know the show must go on.

So why is it so hard to just be ourselves, the good and the bad? I believe the reasons are many but would argue that it is perpetuated by a vicious cycle. Initially, I believe we all have a desperate longing to be loved and accepted. It is our desire to be loved that gets this ball rolling and when that desire is rejected, or even perceived to be, it takes an ugly turn. When we present our "true" self to someone and are not accepted we are left hurt and wondering what went wrong. If it is perceived that they are rejecting us, we would assume that in order to gain acceptance we would have to change. Once this change occurs we will be accepted and will have achieved our goal. However, we are still left unfulfilled, why? When trying to gain this acceptance we are giving up part of who we really are. The person who is accepted is not really who we truly are. The desire still remains for true acceptance and the cycle continues as we keep trying to adapt our personalities and likes to fit in better or be valued more.

Here's the problem, we're chasing our tails. We're going after the wrong thing and we can't even see it because we are so intent about catching that darn tail. Now here's the truth, in this case less is truly so much more. Millions of people cheering your name because they think your swell is not going to fulfill you, but there is One who will. The love of Christ is the only thing in this world that can give you what you're chasing after. The irony is that it's chasing after you but you're too busy putting on the show to see the real masterpiece. If only we could just give up the act and lay all our cards on the table. The truth will set you free and the truth is that Christ is so completely in love with you. His raging love is unstoppable. He knows what the real you is like with all your faults as well as the gifts which he gave you. The love and acceptance that he gives is not conditioned on what we do but only on what He's done. That is why His love is perfect and completely fulfilling, because we don't have to do anything. We can give up the act and rest easy in his love and grace.